Releasing the Ties
In my last blog (A sound Mind) I shared how God had spoken to me about my fear of things happening outside my control. He has been taking me deeper along the journey of seeing life as an adventure rather than a walk of shame, of daring to laugh instead of cry, of believing that I am significant and have something valuable to give.
It is a process and like Paul said, I am pressing on but am not fully there yet!
So, thinking more about control – like many of us, I am still quite fearful of letting my guard down. I often feel that I am lacking as a person because of my hearing and sight loss. This makes me feel vulnerable, so I retreat behind my guards. For example, when a social event is on the horizon, I may opt out and stay at home, telling myself that I’m making time to do some jobs, but in reality I’m running away. I’m taking control to feel safe. But my reaction just sends me into isolation and regret rather than into the freedom Jesus died to bring me.
Last week I shared in my MBM devotional how God spoke to me powerfully through my birthday helium balloons when firstly I tethered them to the garden chair after they started going down; and secondly how it impacted me when one by one they were released and soared joyfully into the sky. When I first tied them and saw them rising only to sink back down again, I really identified with their pull to be free. God spoke to me with a wonderful word on that occasion but as I’ve continued to reflect I realise I need to consciously identify what those symbolic ties are in my life so that I can cut them free and let them go.
So what are my ties? Who or what deep down in my emotional life have I given control to? A thought comes to me, how I automatically defer to anyone who comes across as very confident, strong minded, sure of their opinions or just definite in their manner. It’s as if I instantly put them on a pedestal of being boss and being right and thereby making myself to be wrong and less. I can see this is rooted in my childhood experiences but why am I continuing to let those experiences define me? God has empowered me to take some amazing steps but I need to ask Him to sever these ties so that like those balloons, I can rise up into true freedom. Yes, I want to be respecting of others and rejoicing in their confidence, but not at the cost of respecting myself and all that God has made me to be.
He has given us the mind of Christ and calls us all His beloved children and heirs. One may be gifted one way and someone else another, but we were all created lovingly by our Heavenly Father and made in His image. Those whom I’ve instinctively deferred to would never want me to feel I was less than them. That’s just a lie from my past. Such lies I must choose to renounce. Jesus has already set me free but because of focussing on the old, I’ve failed to live in that freedom. I’ve given too much control to the fear of others and to the lie that I am less.
Thank you, Jesus that you’ve already taken every lie and fear to the cross. I want to step into the freedom of that now. Forgive me for giving my old negative self-beliefs such control. Lord, please sever every tie so that like those balloons I can rise into the freedom of being your beloved child, the unique and beautiful person that God created you to be.
As you declare Lord, ‘you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship.’ (Rom 8;15)
I am trusting He will show me any other ties that I’ve subconsciously given control, but know that in His great kindness, He is leading me step by step into the freedom of being loved with unconditional and everlasting love.
I pray that you too will know the joy of seeing your ties released and rising to dance in glory with Jesus.
Tracy Williamson
